Nadia Dawson
English 102
Assignment 11

             After going to the conference with the teacher and the other 4 students, I feel like i obtained a
lot of different feedback. It forced me to look closer at my essay and make it better. the first thing
 everyone told me that I needed to do was work on adding in more quotes. I need to make my paper longer, but i also need to add in a few more examples of my thoughts. Everyone liked how my essay was formatted, but in the beginning my main purpose of the essay paper could be more clear. I liked how everyone was hones about my mistakes, and hearing them all repeatedly was a huge reminder that I need to get these things fixed. Within my essay, in the introduction, I will  make more clear the purpose of my essay. Then within the essay I will add in more quotes to analyze and understand. This will allow my reader to better understand where I am going with my thoughts. I also remember a couple of questions on points made in the paper. I will answer these questions. For example, people were really confused by how i was relating gangs and celebrities. I will include in my paper how Lil Wayne is in a gang, and people now want to be like him, so they join the same gang because that is wheat's good. I really liked the conferences and I feel I can create and even better paper than the first one I did.